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The Great Army of Triforce wiki
'Thomas Huijbens (1994 - End of Time)' Thomas Huijbens (born 1994 in Turkey) is a square young man born in the Republic of People that have geometrical heads. He is a former member of the Tenacious D Band. Thomas Huijbens currently attends the royal university of physics and gets instructed by the Dark Lord Grand Master of the Universe Ursodonium himself, some say that Thomas is his apprentice. It was here that Thomas learned all the secrets of the universe and that he attained the technology to travel through time and space. Thomas attends the classes along with lord Triagulus also known as Vincent Renooy, and Lord Circulus AKA Jesse Bertoen. Thomas currently lives in Hoofddorp, a culturally advanced World City, And Capital City of Earth 'First contact with Mike Puraat "Slayer of Gods"' Thomas describing his experiences of the invasion of the distant planet Ursox, where he met Mike for the first time: "I remeber looking up at Ursox' second sun, feeling it's warmth on my battered skin. We had held the line near the town of Centriputalia for nearly 8 days now. Supplies were running low and so were my powers, when out of nowhere. A man armed with 4 rapid fire Gattling guns, two 127mm tank turrets, a thousand heavy Pulse Grenades and a Planetary Destruction Arc Laser broke through the Ursonian lines. We had heard of him, stories of the invincible soldier that were told to us by locals. It was Mike Puraat, Slayer of Gods, an alter ego of the almighty Chuck Norris himself. This gave me the strength to regenerate my powers, thus winning the battle and ultimately, the War for Ursox" This first meeting between the two powers ended in an alliance unseen in the Universes till that day. With The Slayer of Gods on their sides, the Triforce's only duty was to conquer all. 'Early years' Born in a small crater on Mars, called Turkey, made to wave the flag, Thomas quickly mastered the art of being purple. At the age of 4 he started school and passed in 3 days, something a normal person would take 12 years to do. In the time following his school career he met his three friends: Mike, Rival and alter ego of Chuck Norris, who Thomas already knew from the battle for Ursox. Vincent, the Triangulus boy, and Stan the Talking Stone. They decided to join forces and invade Poland, Japan and the planet Ursox. On Ursox, however, they came to learn the secrets of the way the universe works, thus giving them crucial information on how to conquer it and become ruler of all things alive. There remains two obstacle in their path of supreme universal domination: Chuck Norris, and God. To beat them they need to know more secrets of awesomeness. Ursodonium is currently teaching the members of the triforce these secrets. 'Goals' Thomas has only one small goal in his life, besides being a purple Unicorn with wings, he also wants to be "the Supreme overlord commander master and leader of all things, dead and alive, in all of the 100 trillion dimensions and across all time periods of history, ranging from the big bang till the inevitable destruction of every single atom in existance during the lifespan of the universe". This goal is due to be reached within the next 2 years, making the triforce the most powerful collection of atoms in the past 900 trillion years, an achievement that will most likely affect every person on earth aswell. 'Inevitable doom' Thomas, being a square which is not the most compact form in the universe, will eventually explode when he is crowned "supreme overlord commander master and leader of all things, dead and alive, in all of the 100 trillion dimensions and across all time periods of history, ranging from the big bang till the inevitable destruction of every single atom in existance during the lifespan of the universe" due to pressure building up in the corners of his square head. This will cause what some scientists call the "big crunch" (not to be mistaken with any form of food or Animal). This "explosion" will most likely happen in about a billion trillion thousand years, 11 months, 8 days, 14 hours, 22 minutes and 10.5 seconds. 'Ranks and titles.' ' ' Thomas is both a senator and a statesman of the ministry of the world of warcraft, where he has significant influence. He is also a commander, captain, general and one of the three supreme overlord Paladins in the triforce. He is classed as a type A intergalactic agent, and is the mascotte of the Ursonian Baseball-team. The queen of Hakie-Takkie-Wang-Snee-Wang-Pang has allowed him entrance into the knighthood of Hakie-Takkie-Wang-Snee-Wang-Pang and thus he is to be officially appointed as Sir General captain commander supreme lord Thomas Huijbens Duke of the lowlands and leader of the 15th squares division: a military square squadron. Thomas is also Called a Werewolf, the legendary "Chewbacca". He is a rare breed of werewolf, not one which transforms at the full moon, but one whom can transform freely at will, causing a bloodbath every now and then in random Girl-dorms at Universities. One famous victim is, Jesse Bertoen. His face is inreversibly damaged, causing it to look extremely unattractive. Some people think Jesse is just a person with the down syndrome, Aids, Acne, Flowerpotness and suicidal attempts, but he is not. He is just an incredibly unattractive victim, torn apart by Thomas himself in a bad mood. Legend has it that Jesse, being one of the triforce leaders, is able to vaporize people with nothing more than his eyes, but that's just a myth, like Belgium is. After Jesse was bitten by a radioactive Bowling Ball, Jesse's true form finally came. Lord Circulus. Together with Vincent, Triangulus and Thomas, Squaregulus, they now form The Ultimate Organisation, The Triforce 'Ursodonium's Time Machine' Grand Master of living things and former king of Ursox Ursodonium has created a time machine. Thomas, one of the 3 Grand Warlord Commander Leaders of the Triforce, was chosen to control it. For a small period of Time Thomas drove te Time-Machine. Well, it wasn't actually a small amount of time, but after 10 years traveling through time, he went back to the moment when he left, so what took him 10 years, actually took all the others 3 seconds. During those 10 Years Thomas learned much about the Universe. First he went back to Earth's 21st century. He visited his younger self while he was having class of the younger Ursodonium. He gave Ursodonium the idea of building a Time-Machine in the future, so he would we able to make the Time-Machine Thomas was travelling with. Then he bumped into his 9 year older self who said Hi, and was eating ice-cream. Normally that would cause a Huge Paradox and cracks in the very fabric of time and space, but because Thomas was awesome enough that didn't happen. After that he went to the moment his parents would met for the first time. He told them he was their future son, so that his father would inpregnate his mother that night, otherwise he would never have been born in the first place. Then he went to the future, to see himself and the 2 other Grand Master Warlord Commander Leaders rule the infinite Universes and the 100 trillion billon dimensions and every single flying atom in every point of time. He asked his future self for some information on how to achieve his goals faster and left to get some ice cream. That somehow took 9 years of the trip. After finally getting some Ice-cream he went back to the moment that he went back to the 21st century. He said Hi to his younger self of 9 years ago, while eating Ice-cream and went back to his own Time to continue his life. 'Achievements ' -Thomas graduated from the Inter Galactical College (attained by many famous people like Darth Vader, Chuck Norris, Mickey Mouse, Pikachu, Vegeta and Ronald Reagan) for advanced squareheadism in 2010 and is currently attending the royal university of physics in Hoofddorp. -Thomas is world champion ant wrestling. -Thomas has both a liver and a pair of kidneys. -Thomas has 4 Badges in the Kanto Region. But then immediatly defeated the Pokemon League in all Regions, otherwise it would take too long. Think about Ash... That guy is still frickin training. -Thomas has a name. -Thomas achieved the Master Sword in his early days, being able to defeat Ganondorf, but won't do it, because it will take more then 20 seconds of his life. -The Deathly Sin; Sloth, was named after Thomas. -Thomas has a Hotdog-Car on Venus. -Thomas has his own Theme-Park in Dimension 287, Universe X80-SZND, Planet Skwerhed. -Thomas has a Wikia Page. 'Trivia' -Thomas was named after his dead Twin brother, which was called Thomas first, but was then killed by his younger brother who is called Thomas now, because the older Thomas died. -Thomas' name is greek for: "He who never finishes his setences and he who..." -If you divide your age by the number of Brain Cells Thomas has, and then Minus it by the number of times he looked at your mom, you will have a meaningless number. - 2 times 3 is not 7 -Thomas has never said the word: "Wortmelokaloshaymarkey". ''Which means: "There are no Elephants in my fridge on sunday" in Ursonian Language -Thomas is exactly 322,26 meter smaller then the length of the Eifel Tower in the summer. -Thomas is not a Pokémon, although he is able to do some attacks and evolve, though we are not sure in what. Pokédex doesn't recognise him. -Thomas Hates nobody, only those who are human and extraterrestrial. -Thomas Likes to eat almost everything - xD is short for: "Thomas" -Thomas is approximately 10 times stronger then you are -Thomas doesnt know who steals his food -Thomas will kill you '''Worthy mentionings: -Stan van Wijk, The Talking Stone (general of the 29th Battlefleet of the TSA) -Mike Pura AKA the Slayer of Gods (Ally of the Triforce, and a Legendary Fighter) Category:Browse